Today we are talking about the dirtiest of T words – THERAPY!! J/K J/K it’s not a bad word. But for a lot of people it is. It’s amazing the things society teaches us. It’s taught us if you go to therapy there’s something wrong with you – only people with “issues” go to see a therapist.
Yea, well that’s a load of shit.
I will admit, I thought going to see a therapist was a sign of weakness. Strong people didn’t do that!
You powered through life and just worked through what’s wrong.
No sweetie, you didn’t work through shit. All you did was put your issues on a shelf, in a dark room and locked the door. You didn’t deal with a damn thing. I’ve come to realize that’s the worst thing you could do.
Like any teen I battled with feeling not good enough and depressive thoughts. This was something I thought I grew out of until I realized that scared girl was still there rocking in the corner. It took a while for me to make the decision to go see help. I had so much going on and I felt like I had no control over my life. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
One Sunday night I had a really bad night, like epic bad. I was crying and just feeling sorry for myself. Everything I was going through was just too much for me to deal with.
I woke up the next morning realizing I never wanted another night like that again.
I remember my bestfriend had started to see a therapist that she raved had changed her life. I knew I had to do something. I reached out to my bestie and asked for her therapist’s number. She asked me one question “Are you okay?” and I was honest for once and replied, “No I’m not.” I had been keeping so much to myself for months I just couldn’t hold it in anymore – I needed help.
After I made an appointment with the therapist, I almost backed out. I started going “I don’t need help it was just a moment” but I knew deep down it wasn’t. I stopped lying to myself and let in just how out of control I was.
When the day of my first appointment came I was so damn nervous! I wanted to turn around, but I put my big girl panties on and got my shit together.
My first appointment with my therapist was amazing. She just listened to me speak about why I wanted to be there and what I was looking for. We talked a bit about me, my family, my personal relationships and who I was as a person. She made me feel so at ease from that first meeting I never felt like I was talking to a therapist – just a new friend. At the end of our session, she asked how I felt and explained if this wasn’t for me she would recommend someone else. I told her flat out, “Hell no, you’re my girl now!”.
I’ve been going to see my gurl now for over a year (yea I don’t call her my therapist anymore because she’s more than that – she’s become a part of my gurl gang) and she has helped me to become the person I am today. She’s helped me put myself back together and forced me think about what I want in life. The reason behind that first initial visit has morphed into such an amazing relationship with a beautiful soul.
She’s the reason I had the courage to start this blog. Most importantly, she’s the reason I realized being vulnerable isn’t a weakness, but the strongest thing you can do.
So go be vulnerable, are you ready?
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