Well, do you look yourself in the mirror and love who you are? No?? Whelp it’s time you start working on that.
As women I think we have the hardest time loving who we are. Society is always telling us we aren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, blah, blah, blah. You know what I say to that – fuck that shit. You are enough my beautiful divas! And if anyone makes you feel differently then you need to run -like serious run your ass away from them pronto. You do not need that negativity in your life.
Okay I digress, lol. Moving on!
I think I’ve struggled with self-love my whole life due to my weight. I’ll be real my mother has pictures of me as a baby and my rolls had rolls. They used to call me a doll baby because I was just so cute and chunky or “healthy” as my family called it. I was never that skinny girl with the little waist and thighs. I was what they call thick. Being a young girl, I hated my thick thighs and big ass – now that shit is in style. But for a young girl it was horrible to not “look” like the other girls.
For my family food means love. So much of my childhood revolves around my family making these amazing memories surrounded by food. I’m actually sitting here thinking about memories of my childhood and I’m remembering winters my dad always made his amazing soups, Friday’s were always fried fish nights, Sundays we had a big breakfast before church. Don’t get me wrong I do have other memories, but my most cherished are the ones where me and family are enjoying a meal together. I’m grateful to have those memories.
But as I got older and hit my mid to late twenties I started to really pack on the weight. I would workout and eat healthy, but within a month I would fall off the bandwagon. Then I would start to hate the way I looked and then I was off again trying to get my shit together. It wasn’t until last year when everything started falling apart around me I realized how much weight I had really gained. I was almost 200 lbs. which scared the crap out of me. I’m short, only 5’3 on a good day, so it started to really show. I became a master at hiding the weight with jackets and long cardigans. I would look in the mirror and be disgusted with what I saw.
When my marriage ended I blamed my weight as a major factor. I was so depressed and blaming myself for everything that went wrong. I started telling myself I wasn’t good enough, skinny enough, smart enough – I just wasn’t enough. As I talked about in a previous post, after my surgery I got my shit together. I got focused and my main goal was to start to love myself.
And you know what, that’s when the magic happened. For the first time in my life I was so focused and dedicated to not only loosing the weight but learning to love who I was. More importantly I was going to become someone I loved more than anyone in this world.
I started listening to my gurl aka my therapist instead of crying about my ex. Yes I go see a therapist and that is one of the best decisions I ever made. Learn all about that adventure here.
I actually started paying attention to her teachings on self-love and learning who I was as a person. I started doing personal development to better myself. This was another big “aha” moment for me – my game changer.
I was never into developing my personal self until I realized I needed it. Every day I take time to do some form of personal development. Either it’s by reading books, following inspiring social media pages and most recently listening to podcast on my drive to work – I get it in. For me those have become my me times to check in with myself and see how I’m feeling. All of these actions have motivated me to become a better person.
Do I still have set backs and still get down on myself – hell yes. But I love myself more now than I have ever in my entire life.
Even though the reason behind me having to change my mindset sucked, I don’t hate the why anymore. Everything happens for a reason, right? I learned to become a better person, love who I am and go after my dreams.
Not every set back is a bad thing, it might actually set you on the path you need to be on.
Are you ready to start loving who you are?
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